I meant to go into more detail earlier on how much I love Ed Sheeran. I mean, you'll know how much of an influence he was, and probably still is, on you, but right now I just can't get enough of him and everything he's done. It's both beautiful and frustrating at the same time. I want his life. I want to be a successful singer/songwriter, to have written songs over the years that I've recorded and been out and played gigs all over the place. He's done all that and he's only 21. I'm nearly 24 and I'm still a mess.
At the same time though he makes me believe I could do it all in some way. But right now I've never felt further from it. Listening to his music makes me miss London like mad. When I was there I felt like I was going somewhere, even though I wasn't really. But maybe I could've. Who knows.
I keep getting on at myself for not marrying up the different sides of me, like why am I learning to play drums, getting in depth in the instrument, if I want to be a songwriter? But maybe there's nothing wrong with that. It's all part of who I am, and I shouldn't be trying to deny that. Embrace it. I talked with Mum and Chris tonight about a lot of this and they've made me feel a bit better about it all. At least they've helped me realise again that there's no point thinking too much about it. If it's gonna be it's gonna be. Maybe I'm not ever gonna be famous. There's nothing wrong with getting into teaching and doing that well. And there's plenty other stuff I could do round here - start a function band maybe, that sort of thing. And there's nothing stopping me continuing to write and going out and gigging round here, maybe through in Glasgow. It could lead somewhere, who knows? Even if I just became known round here that would be something. A start maybe. A good start I think. Get the courage to be a local singer/songwriter and you can go from there. Let's do it.
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