My performance was yesterday and I'm generally very happy with how it went. There were some small errors in some of the tracks but nothing major, and given the overall circumstances it went just about as well as I could have hoped.
The biggest worry on the day came when I woke in the morning in a lot of pain and struggling to move. I later learned an infection had developed in my tailbone, and this made it very uncomfortable to sit down which obviously was an issue given I was playing drums. At first I thought I would be unable to play but the pain eased up over the course of the day and didn't hamper me too much come my actual performance. However it had shaken me earlier in the day, and meant I was unable to hold a last minute rehearsal which I'd been hoping to do, and this could have ironed out some of the mistakes I made and settled my nerves a bit.
Overall I feel the biggest disappointment in my set was using backing tracks for 4 out of the 6 tracks. Although I was still able to showcase my ability on those tracks, I know it would have made for a more entertaining performance had I had a full band for them, and from the feedback I got from the audience and watching back over the tracks themselves I think it's clear the songs I performed with my band were the best in the set.
However, using backing tracks was necessitated by time, financial and geographical constraints. I found it hard this year balancing out work from all my units with work and other commitments outside of my course, and it made it hard to give as much time to putting together the performance as I would have liked. Given where I stay there was also a large cost in travel to and from the college where we practiced, and that made me keen to avoid having to make trips unless I absolutely had to. It also meant it would have been hard for me to free up money to hire professional musicians to fill slots had I opted to do that. On the matter of finding musicians I again found it hard not being native to Edinburgh or the surrounding areas to find people who played the instruments I would have required for some of the tracks. Most of my contacts were based more in the Glasgow direction, and once I had David White and Dechlan Nicholson, both from Edinburgh, committed to doing bass and guitar, I was keen to avoid having musicians from the other side of the country as arranging rehearsals would have been difficult.
In hindsight I'm aware that I could have acted quicker in putting my set together. A few of my tracks were decided later than I would have liked, although this was often due to me being forced to make changes. If I had been settled on a programme earlier I might have been able to commit to finding the required musicians and making it all work.
Nevertheless I'm proud of the work I did personally in playing the tracks I chose. It involved developing a lot of skills and knowledge I hadn't had before such as using a double bass drum pedal, playing in a myriad of odd time signatures which often involved me transcribing parts to understand them better, and researching cymbals and drum set-ups to replicate the sounds made on some of the tracks I chose. A lot of work into it and although in some respects it could have been a more dynamic performance, there a lot of positives I will take from it.
Monday, 3 June 2013
Friday, 24 May 2013
24/5/13 - about 4pm
I think this blog is becoming redundant, cos it's always possible to look back on things you've said on Facebook as an indicator of what was happening in life. And although there's some things I wouldn't say on Facebook, the fact is I'm never going to remember everything that's happened in my life. I think I'm just gonna have to let that go and be happy in the moment. That's all you can do.
And speaking of being happy in the moment, this is a very good moment. The sun's out for once, and at around 2am this morning I handed in my last piece of coursework. What a wonderful feeling. Before that I had my performance on Wednesday. It went well in the end, but it nearly didn't go at all! Woke up with serious pain in my tailbone, could barely move. Turns out I have an infection caused by an ingrown hair or something. Not nice. I powered on through it though and we had a great night. Chris and Ruairidh did great as well. Ruairidh cried a bit at the end of his speech which was quite touching. It's different for him than me, this place has been his life for the past few years, it's gotta be tough saying goodbye after that. He's a talented guy though, there's plenty places he can go in life.
Before all that was the manic rush to finish my project before going to Newcastle for the weekend. I jsut about managed it, and handed my project in shortly after I got back. Wrote about 5000 words on the sight reading process and my work on tuned percussion. Quite proud of what I did. It's hardly groundbreaking but it should get me a decent mark.
Then there was Newcastle itself! We had a good laugh, and I missed it a lot afterward. Went a bit hard the Friday night though and were all feeling rough the Saturday. I stayed out again though, felt I should. How often do I get to get away? It was kinda hard though, I still have that war inside me that tells me I shouldn't be spending all my money and time clubbing and stuff when there are things I want so much more in life. But then you need that sort of camaraderie, and getting away from things gives you perspective. It makes me realise how much I want these other things. I also think I still need to loosen up around the guys a bit. I found that kinda hard cos there's a lot of abuse going back and forward and I'm not good at taking it. I need to remember that I care about those guys though, and not to take what they say to heart. They get on at me in fun, then I get on at them back and forget to just be nice sometimes. I had a great weekend with them and I should remember to appreciate them.
See now I feel like this blog does have a point. I said a lot of things there that I think I'll be glad to look back on. Whether or not I'll keep going though... We'll see. :)
And speaking of being happy in the moment, this is a very good moment. The sun's out for once, and at around 2am this morning I handed in my last piece of coursework. What a wonderful feeling. Before that I had my performance on Wednesday. It went well in the end, but it nearly didn't go at all! Woke up with serious pain in my tailbone, could barely move. Turns out I have an infection caused by an ingrown hair or something. Not nice. I powered on through it though and we had a great night. Chris and Ruairidh did great as well. Ruairidh cried a bit at the end of his speech which was quite touching. It's different for him than me, this place has been his life for the past few years, it's gotta be tough saying goodbye after that. He's a talented guy though, there's plenty places he can go in life.
Before all that was the manic rush to finish my project before going to Newcastle for the weekend. I jsut about managed it, and handed my project in shortly after I got back. Wrote about 5000 words on the sight reading process and my work on tuned percussion. Quite proud of what I did. It's hardly groundbreaking but it should get me a decent mark.
Then there was Newcastle itself! We had a good laugh, and I missed it a lot afterward. Went a bit hard the Friday night though and were all feeling rough the Saturday. I stayed out again though, felt I should. How often do I get to get away? It was kinda hard though, I still have that war inside me that tells me I shouldn't be spending all my money and time clubbing and stuff when there are things I want so much more in life. But then you need that sort of camaraderie, and getting away from things gives you perspective. It makes me realise how much I want these other things. I also think I still need to loosen up around the guys a bit. I found that kinda hard cos there's a lot of abuse going back and forward and I'm not good at taking it. I need to remember that I care about those guys though, and not to take what they say to heart. They get on at me in fun, then I get on at them back and forget to just be nice sometimes. I had a great weekend with them and I should remember to appreciate them.
See now I feel like this blog does have a point. I said a lot of things there that I think I'll be glad to look back on. Whether or not I'll keep going though... We'll see. :)
Monday, 22 April 2013
22/4/13 - just before midday.
Facebook, Hotmail, Lumosity, Blogger. Always the same routine when I hit the library computer. Mum and Chris and me are all obsessed with a new Facebook game. 'Criminal Case'. I keep calling it 'Crimescene: Scene of the Crime' haha. That's basically what it is though. You have to find items hidden in crime scenes. It's good fun.
This is also about the only time I choose to blog, so I do worry about it's future after I'm done College. I'm getting close to doing that as well. Only about a month left. Just had our last actual teaching class, portfolio's due in next week. Still a bit of work to do for it. Gonna take a lot of organising. We all just agreed in class that there's been too much work this year, and Scott basically agreed with us. Said he'll change it up next year. Shame he couldn't have done it earlier! I've decided I'm not going to regret this year though. I like that class, and a lot of what I've done here. Even though it's time I moved on in my life, time to be done with education, I've got to appreciate the good times I've had. Drum Corps has been fun, and I've learned a lot again. But it's time to start making my impression on the world.
I've been thinking about how I might do that. There's a lot I want to do. I'm gonna going out and performing wherever I can. Busking too. And I'm going to start vlogging. I think that's where I've always been headed really. People like Alex Day really get me thinking, about the possibilities of online marketing. That's where it's at now, and I think I could be good at it. Just start uploading videos about everything. Loads of covers and stuff. Just show the world who I am. That's what I want to do. Without fear. That's what I'm gonna do.
Chris started his new job at the weekend. Working night shifts at a care home. He found his first shift quite though and he's struggling to get used to the idea of doing it 3 nights a week. Worries about his time, and he's really struggling with his self-esteem when he's there. Intimidated by everyone, feels like he's doing everything wrong. But he needs to learn to deal with this. To be himself. He'll have to power on through, he's got us. I've struggled with jobs in the past I know what it's like. I hope he finds it easier with time.
Was out at the weekend there. Still not drinking. Haven't done so in a month or so. It was alright though. It's just the Woody on a Saturday I struggle with. That'll be the real challenge for sobriety haha. As usual I enjoyed the time after more. She was out, back for the weekend. Didn't see her much on the Friday but ended up offering to give Antonia Rice a lift up the road cos she was pretty drunk, then took her and her sister home. They're a good laugh, and I like talking to them. But whether I'll ever have anything more with her... I doubt it. She doesn't show much interest in doing anything, with anyone really. But it's whether I want to make her interested. Part of me is sure I could do it. But then what do I really want? I ain't settling down anytime soon. But then I've always said if I met a girl I felt could be special I'd make it work. I wouldn't let an opportunity pass me by. We'll see. It's all down to this summer really. After that I'm gone.
You probably laugh and scorn reading these things. Probably sounds well cheesy. It is pretty lame, but then that's who we are, and you shouldn't forget that that's how you felt. You probably have feelings of some sort going on now, and you'd write about them the same way. So shut it.
Anyway I'm off to play a load of games, then maybe get some work done. Maybe. Ciao for now.
This is also about the only time I choose to blog, so I do worry about it's future after I'm done College. I'm getting close to doing that as well. Only about a month left. Just had our last actual teaching class, portfolio's due in next week. Still a bit of work to do for it. Gonna take a lot of organising. We all just agreed in class that there's been too much work this year, and Scott basically agreed with us. Said he'll change it up next year. Shame he couldn't have done it earlier! I've decided I'm not going to regret this year though. I like that class, and a lot of what I've done here. Even though it's time I moved on in my life, time to be done with education, I've got to appreciate the good times I've had. Drum Corps has been fun, and I've learned a lot again. But it's time to start making my impression on the world.
I've been thinking about how I might do that. There's a lot I want to do. I'm gonna going out and performing wherever I can. Busking too. And I'm going to start vlogging. I think that's where I've always been headed really. People like Alex Day really get me thinking, about the possibilities of online marketing. That's where it's at now, and I think I could be good at it. Just start uploading videos about everything. Loads of covers and stuff. Just show the world who I am. That's what I want to do. Without fear. That's what I'm gonna do.
Chris started his new job at the weekend. Working night shifts at a care home. He found his first shift quite though and he's struggling to get used to the idea of doing it 3 nights a week. Worries about his time, and he's really struggling with his self-esteem when he's there. Intimidated by everyone, feels like he's doing everything wrong. But he needs to learn to deal with this. To be himself. He'll have to power on through, he's got us. I've struggled with jobs in the past I know what it's like. I hope he finds it easier with time.
Was out at the weekend there. Still not drinking. Haven't done so in a month or so. It was alright though. It's just the Woody on a Saturday I struggle with. That'll be the real challenge for sobriety haha. As usual I enjoyed the time after more. She was out, back for the weekend. Didn't see her much on the Friday but ended up offering to give Antonia Rice a lift up the road cos she was pretty drunk, then took her and her sister home. They're a good laugh, and I like talking to them. But whether I'll ever have anything more with her... I doubt it. She doesn't show much interest in doing anything, with anyone really. But it's whether I want to make her interested. Part of me is sure I could do it. But then what do I really want? I ain't settling down anytime soon. But then I've always said if I met a girl I felt could be special I'd make it work. I wouldn't let an opportunity pass me by. We'll see. It's all down to this summer really. After that I'm gone.
You probably laugh and scorn reading these things. Probably sounds well cheesy. It is pretty lame, but then that's who we are, and you shouldn't forget that that's how you felt. You probably have feelings of some sort going on now, and you'd write about them the same way. So shut it.
Anyway I'm off to play a load of games, then maybe get some work done. Maybe. Ciao for now.
Sunday, 7 April 2013
7/4/13 - about 11pm
We arrive today in London again for easter, although my easter holiday actually ends today. Apparently my holiday doesn't match mums. Oh well.
Was doing some work for my assignment on 'the online musician'. Looking up Alex Day videos, which got me onto looking up Carrie Hope Fletcher who is another youtube celebrity type person, and also apparently Tom Fletcher's sister. Turns we also saw her a couple weeks ago when the family was on family fortunes. Huh.
Anyway it's all got me thinking about how I should be raising my profile. I ought to do more videos and stuff. Not loads. I don't think I'll ever be a youtube celeb type person, although you may have noticed I've started talking like one. But I want to start uploading more videos anyway, and it couldn't hurt to upload a couple videos where I talk a bit about myself. Maybe. Anyway I'm thinking my thing will be covers. But, like, I'll do LOADS of them. I learn hunners of songs anyway. I should make it a thing that I do, upload a cover a day or something. I've been thinking about that for a while anyway, and there's no reason why it shouldn't be my thing. My problem is I always see other people do things, and then feel like I should do them, when really I should just find my own thing to do. Whatever suits me. Well doing hunners of covers would suit me. Cos I'm good at that. I'm great at taking songs and making them my own, and in doing so I'd improve as a performer, which could be part of the fun. Think I might do that once the degree's over.
On that note I'm about 5 minutes into learning Dance of Eternity. Woo. I've always wanted to learn that tune, and I'm proud that I am. I can just about do it all properly as well. My double bass drum technique is really coming along. Think I'll quickly go blog about that on my performance blog.
Done. Still a bit to go with that but I'm getting somewhere.
Auntie Flori's watching one of her murder documentaries. It's about some guy they named 'The Baseline Rapist', and latterly 'The Baseline Killer'. Dion and me couldn't help but laugh.
Finally, the thing that prompted this blog in the first place. I've written a Facebook status I'm considering posting. It reads thus:
'A couple of nights ago I dreamt that a major supermarket had executed a plan to take over Britain. All those opposed to their regimes became fugitives. Many of them were captured and held in prisons created underneath stores across the country. They were underfed, and infections were spreading among them. Employees were made to guard these prisons and keep prisoners in line. I was one of these employees, but my bosses were suspicious of me. They knew I was sympathetic with the rebels and I was under constant scrutiny. The dream ended with me escaping with a car full of the prisoners, hoping to find a rebel alliance that could protect us.'
True story. Not the actual story, but the fact I dreamt it. It was crazy, and surprisingly real. Ryan still worked in Tesco and wouldn't act against them out of loyalty and fear of losing job security. Grant and his Mum were prisoners. Grant's arm was badly infected ha. I escaped with Paige and 3 other prisoners who I don't remember. Strange times.
Was doing some work for my assignment on 'the online musician'. Looking up Alex Day videos, which got me onto looking up Carrie Hope Fletcher who is another youtube celebrity type person, and also apparently Tom Fletcher's sister. Turns we also saw her a couple weeks ago when the family was on family fortunes. Huh.
Anyway it's all got me thinking about how I should be raising my profile. I ought to do more videos and stuff. Not loads. I don't think I'll ever be a youtube celeb type person, although you may have noticed I've started talking like one. But I want to start uploading more videos anyway, and it couldn't hurt to upload a couple videos where I talk a bit about myself. Maybe. Anyway I'm thinking my thing will be covers. But, like, I'll do LOADS of them. I learn hunners of songs anyway. I should make it a thing that I do, upload a cover a day or something. I've been thinking about that for a while anyway, and there's no reason why it shouldn't be my thing. My problem is I always see other people do things, and then feel like I should do them, when really I should just find my own thing to do. Whatever suits me. Well doing hunners of covers would suit me. Cos I'm good at that. I'm great at taking songs and making them my own, and in doing so I'd improve as a performer, which could be part of the fun. Think I might do that once the degree's over.
On that note I'm about 5 minutes into learning Dance of Eternity. Woo. I've always wanted to learn that tune, and I'm proud that I am. I can just about do it all properly as well. My double bass drum technique is really coming along. Think I'll quickly go blog about that on my performance blog.
Done. Still a bit to go with that but I'm getting somewhere.
Auntie Flori's watching one of her murder documentaries. It's about some guy they named 'The Baseline Rapist', and latterly 'The Baseline Killer'. Dion and me couldn't help but laugh.
Finally, the thing that prompted this blog in the first place. I've written a Facebook status I'm considering posting. It reads thus:
'A couple of nights ago I dreamt that a major supermarket had executed a plan to take over Britain. All those opposed to their regimes became fugitives. Many of them were captured and held in prisons created underneath stores across the country. They were underfed, and infections were spreading among them. Employees were made to guard these prisons and keep prisoners in line. I was one of these employees, but my bosses were suspicious of me. They knew I was sympathetic with the rebels and I was under constant scrutiny. The dream ended with me escaping with a car full of the prisoners, hoping to find a rebel alliance that could protect us.'
True story. Not the actual story, but the fact I dreamt it. It was crazy, and surprisingly real. Ryan still worked in Tesco and wouldn't act against them out of loyalty and fear of losing job security. Grant and his Mum were prisoners. Grant's arm was badly infected ha. I escaped with Paige and 3 other prisoners who I don't remember. Strange times.
Monday, 1 April 2013
1/4/13 - about 13.30
Yes, posts are getting fewer and further between, which is a shame cos I'll probably miss things but as long as I post from time to time I guess the blog's worth something.
It's easter Monday, and I'm not long up - sleeping patterns are a state ha. A combination of being out clubbing on Friday and not getting in til nearly 5, then the clocks going forward the next night. Friday was good though. Didn't drink, and still had a great night. Went to a Rock tribute night - AC/DC tribute, Ozzy tribute, Gallus Cooper and Poizon. Didn't see much of AC/DC, Ozzy were awesome but their bass drum broke half way through the set - gutted! Gallus Cooper were really good again (saw them at the Kiss night in Lanark) but Poizon were a little disappointing. Should have had the Ozzy tribute headlining tbh.
After that we went to the ABC - Propaganda Friday's, forgot how good the music is! First time going to one in Scotland, honestly the best music set I've heard in there, was awesome. Have to take Chris sometime. We're going to see the Lafontaines in a couple weeks so can maybe go after that.
Night before that was open mic at the Crown - Did a couple of my songs and also did my first ever collaboration with Dan. Went well I think, our parents and Linzi's parents came, and Chris was out with a few of his friends. Was a good fun night. :) Dan and Linzi left early though so I ended up crashing at Craig's, then went out for a family lunch at Spoons the next day. It's always nice doing things as a family, and I was glad I went cos it was Erin's birthday party that night and I missed it cos I'd already planned the night.
Anyway, since then just been trying to get back on with College work... Getting toward the end now. List of things needing done:
Digital Musicianship - essay on the online musician, instructional videos with background to notation.
Project - Need to get another meeting with Laurie and start on written part. Maybe do another couple of videos and arrange meeting with tuned percussion teacher.
Performance - Learn songs. Changed the set a week or so back, worked from backing track for Subdivisions and Dance of Eternity which I've had to use to replace Universal Mind. sad to lose that track but getting on alright with Dance, about 2 mins into it. Also got to learn Selkies, and try and get the band playing it - I worry about Dave learning the bass for that but we'll see how it goes. Also a little worried about the double bass pedal stuff for me, been working heavily on it, practising most days and getting faster and more comfortable but still have a way to go for the Selkies stuff.
Teaching - Still got a few more lessons with Mum and Chris and even more with Jamie. Hardly even care what I'm saying in write-ups now, just wanna get it out the way. It's not like I'm gonna fail.
Of course, threatening all that is a renewed addiction to Champ Man. Downloaded the update and went Rangers to promote them up from div 3. It's now nearly 3pm cos they made me semi-pro when I got promoted and I'm trying to figure out how to move it back. Save game editor ain't working. Have to forget about it for now anyway cos I need to get back to work! Catch ye. (Y)
It's easter Monday, and I'm not long up - sleeping patterns are a state ha. A combination of being out clubbing on Friday and not getting in til nearly 5, then the clocks going forward the next night. Friday was good though. Didn't drink, and still had a great night. Went to a Rock tribute night - AC/DC tribute, Ozzy tribute, Gallus Cooper and Poizon. Didn't see much of AC/DC, Ozzy were awesome but their bass drum broke half way through the set - gutted! Gallus Cooper were really good again (saw them at the Kiss night in Lanark) but Poizon were a little disappointing. Should have had the Ozzy tribute headlining tbh.
After that we went to the ABC - Propaganda Friday's, forgot how good the music is! First time going to one in Scotland, honestly the best music set I've heard in there, was awesome. Have to take Chris sometime. We're going to see the Lafontaines in a couple weeks so can maybe go after that.
Night before that was open mic at the Crown - Did a couple of my songs and also did my first ever collaboration with Dan. Went well I think, our parents and Linzi's parents came, and Chris was out with a few of his friends. Was a good fun night. :) Dan and Linzi left early though so I ended up crashing at Craig's, then went out for a family lunch at Spoons the next day. It's always nice doing things as a family, and I was glad I went cos it was Erin's birthday party that night and I missed it cos I'd already planned the night.
Anyway, since then just been trying to get back on with College work... Getting toward the end now. List of things needing done:
Digital Musicianship - essay on the online musician, instructional videos with background to notation.
Project - Need to get another meeting with Laurie and start on written part. Maybe do another couple of videos and arrange meeting with tuned percussion teacher.
Performance - Learn songs. Changed the set a week or so back, worked from backing track for Subdivisions and Dance of Eternity which I've had to use to replace Universal Mind. sad to lose that track but getting on alright with Dance, about 2 mins into it. Also got to learn Selkies, and try and get the band playing it - I worry about Dave learning the bass for that but we'll see how it goes. Also a little worried about the double bass pedal stuff for me, been working heavily on it, practising most days and getting faster and more comfortable but still have a way to go for the Selkies stuff.
Teaching - Still got a few more lessons with Mum and Chris and even more with Jamie. Hardly even care what I'm saying in write-ups now, just wanna get it out the way. It's not like I'm gonna fail.
Of course, threatening all that is a renewed addiction to Champ Man. Downloaded the update and went Rangers to promote them up from div 3. It's now nearly 3pm cos they made me semi-pro when I got promoted and I'm trying to figure out how to move it back. Save game editor ain't working. Have to forget about it for now anyway cos I need to get back to work! Catch ye. (Y)
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Sunday 17/3/13 - about 3pm
Sitting in the living room at Auntie Flori's - we're all here for the funeral which is tomorrow. There's an occasional air of sadness but generally things are okay. Think tomorrow will help give everyone closure and let us move on. Heading straight back home on tues on so it will be straight back to normality.
Trying to keep work and stuff going but struggling. Feeling totally out of the swing of things, and there's still so much to do. Not letting myself stress about it though. I'll do what I need to do, maybe not much more than that but with any luck I'll get through. Missing out on double bass pedal practise which isn't good - been keeping up consistent practice in the hope I can get up to speed for my performance in a couple months. I'll keep up some hand practice on my pad though and spend some time learning the songs. That'll have to do. Also trying to keep up my diet and work outs but that's proving quite hard with everything going on and not being sure of food times. We're only here a couple days though, so I'll just take measures to make sure when we come back over Easter I'll be better prepared to keep everything going.
Had a gig on Friday at the ICE band night which was good fun. Had a few people there to see me - Dan and Linzi (Linzi was singing with Kerry and Gemma Mac too), Chris, Craig, Kiwi, Marc, Scorgie and Gemma and Trolley boy Mark (text if I was out, let him know what was happening ha - why not?). Ske didn't want to attend anything ICE or Kerry related. Fair enough really. I had a good night anyway, and a decent gig. Did a cover of Many of Horror by Biffy and forgot my words at one point which wasn't cool. Wasn't the words I had trouble with really, wasn't confident with the chords, and was focusing too much on remembering them.
Watched beat Swansea 2-0 away yesterday. Good game for us. It's been an awful season though. Still a few points behind Chelsea and Spurs in 3rd and 4th, need them to slip up. Went out the Champs League to Bayern, losing 3-1 at home then winning 2-0 away and going out on away goals. Frustrating. Just not playing consistently up to our potential.
Mentioned the other day that I'd had a brief stint on Champ Man, turned out to be a bit more than that. Continued with my Rangers game, won the Champs League and stuff which was cool. Got a quality team. Then started a new game with Arsenal which was probably a mistake. Don't know if I'll keep playing it or not, there's a part of me wanting to but I really should be getting on with work.
About to go and get started on my project written piece. Still not entirely sure of what I should be doing for it but gonna go with the stuff Laurie's talked to me about to do with sight reading on tuned percussion. Also took some videos of me playing grade 3 pieces, in the process of uploading them. Will be glad when this is all over. (I know I've said that a million times...)
Trying to keep work and stuff going but struggling. Feeling totally out of the swing of things, and there's still so much to do. Not letting myself stress about it though. I'll do what I need to do, maybe not much more than that but with any luck I'll get through. Missing out on double bass pedal practise which isn't good - been keeping up consistent practice in the hope I can get up to speed for my performance in a couple months. I'll keep up some hand practice on my pad though and spend some time learning the songs. That'll have to do. Also trying to keep up my diet and work outs but that's proving quite hard with everything going on and not being sure of food times. We're only here a couple days though, so I'll just take measures to make sure when we come back over Easter I'll be better prepared to keep everything going.
Had a gig on Friday at the ICE band night which was good fun. Had a few people there to see me - Dan and Linzi (Linzi was singing with Kerry and Gemma Mac too), Chris, Craig, Kiwi, Marc, Scorgie and Gemma and Trolley boy Mark (text if I was out, let him know what was happening ha - why not?). Ske didn't want to attend anything ICE or Kerry related. Fair enough really. I had a good night anyway, and a decent gig. Did a cover of Many of Horror by Biffy and forgot my words at one point which wasn't cool. Wasn't the words I had trouble with really, wasn't confident with the chords, and was focusing too much on remembering them.
Watched beat Swansea 2-0 away yesterday. Good game for us. It's been an awful season though. Still a few points behind Chelsea and Spurs in 3rd and 4th, need them to slip up. Went out the Champs League to Bayern, losing 3-1 at home then winning 2-0 away and going out on away goals. Frustrating. Just not playing consistently up to our potential.
Mentioned the other day that I'd had a brief stint on Champ Man, turned out to be a bit more than that. Continued with my Rangers game, won the Champs League and stuff which was cool. Got a quality team. Then started a new game with Arsenal which was probably a mistake. Don't know if I'll keep playing it or not, there's a part of me wanting to but I really should be getting on with work.
About to go and get started on my project written piece. Still not entirely sure of what I should be doing for it but gonna go with the stuff Laurie's talked to me about to do with sight reading on tuned percussion. Also took some videos of me playing grade 3 pieces, in the process of uploading them. Will be glad when this is all over. (I know I've said that a million times...)
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
12/3/13 - 10.45am
So I can feel this blog slowly dying. It's a shame, I think it's a great idea, I just don't find myself coming on much to post. This seems to be the only time I do - after drum lessons on Tues morning I come into the Library and fire up Facebook, Hotmail (which has just changed to Outlook. Weird.), Lumosity (which I go on every day pretty much. Not sure if it really helps my brain at all but I think it's good fun. Mostly. I still scream at it from time to time like I do most games...) and Blogger. Not sure why, it's just become a habit cos I've been posting for college stuff as well.
Drum lesson was alright today. Talked about the snare piece we're working on, a reel called 'Pretty Marion'. It's another Duthart piece (we're also doing his fanfare in drum corps). It's a nice piece, I'm taking time getting to grips with it. I can play everything just about, it's just the phrasing, I need to learn to understand the feel better. We talked a bit about this, then he asked me to play and I made an arse of it cos I was too self-conscious but I talked about this afterward. We talked about my performance programme too. We performed our sample last week - Sound of Muzak and half of Schism - and I think it went alright. Rich told me he'd like to see more of me in the music, which I get. This is what got me talking about being self-conscious. I need to put my stamp on things more and not be afraid to. I think doing the Higher Diploma down south kinda beat that out of me a bit, but this is my programme, so it has to be my performance, not a copy of everyone else's.
Right now I've got an Ari Hoenig video on in the background. Rich sent me it, said there's a bit about doing your own thing. It's always interesting to hear other people's experiences in music, everyone does things so differently and learns in their own way. This is why I know there's nothing wrong with doing things my way. The hard part is doing things my way when there are other musician's there. Like when I've been at jam nights. As a drummer I've got to be able to lead dynamically and believe what I play is good. How you getting on with that?
He's talking now about how he chose not to get a degree. Studied for 3 and a half years, but only did it to learn. Didn't see a degree as any sort of accomplishment. That's refreshing, and also very true. I've said enough time that being at College is a bit of a waste of time, but I'm doing it for mum and dad really, which funnily is what he's saying now. They have the attitude like 'I'm sending you to college, I want to see a degree'. I get that, to an extent. But the way I see it they sent me to college so I can get a career, and if I do that they shouldn't be worried about getting a degree. But then if a degree is perceived to be an accomplishment maybe that gives it validation.
Just been messaging Kerry, she's invited me to play at the second ICE band night on Friday at Images. Really looking forward to that. Probably be the biggest crowd I've played to! Gonna do at least 3 of my own - 'Show What Love Is', '24 Hour Drive Thru' and 'The First Step'. Probably leave it at that. Think I'm gonna 'The A Team' cos it should go down well. Also considering doing One Direction haha. Not sure how that would go down. I'll see what the vibes are on the night and go with it. Should be good.
Last couple days saw me rekindle an obsession with Champ Man - took Rangers to the Champs League semis in my third season, won back to back domestic trebles - then lose it again, all in one weekend ha. Not sure how I feel about that. Undoubtedly lost some time to my brief stint on it, but then it's good to have had some fun with it that didn't last too long. Last time I playing I thought that was forever. But I reckon I'll always be playing that game, or at least some game. Maybe one day I'll eventually get a new Football Manager haha.
Anyway, I could talk shite all day, but I need to get out of here and god eat something. Weight gain diet still in full effect! Not seeing huge results yet but it's gonna be a long slog. Wonder if you're still doing it? Maybe it became part of your life? Or maybe you gave up haha. I made pasta last night, was quite proud of myself for that. With mum being away all week I've been doing a lot more cooking. Got the burns to prove it ha! Still, it's good experience for me.
Anyway, aye, going. What I really ought to do is come on more often and say less. But I probably won't...
Drum lesson was alright today. Talked about the snare piece we're working on, a reel called 'Pretty Marion'. It's another Duthart piece (we're also doing his fanfare in drum corps). It's a nice piece, I'm taking time getting to grips with it. I can play everything just about, it's just the phrasing, I need to learn to understand the feel better. We talked a bit about this, then he asked me to play and I made an arse of it cos I was too self-conscious but I talked about this afterward. We talked about my performance programme too. We performed our sample last week - Sound of Muzak and half of Schism - and I think it went alright. Rich told me he'd like to see more of me in the music, which I get. This is what got me talking about being self-conscious. I need to put my stamp on things more and not be afraid to. I think doing the Higher Diploma down south kinda beat that out of me a bit, but this is my programme, so it has to be my performance, not a copy of everyone else's.
Right now I've got an Ari Hoenig video on in the background. Rich sent me it, said there's a bit about doing your own thing. It's always interesting to hear other people's experiences in music, everyone does things so differently and learns in their own way. This is why I know there's nothing wrong with doing things my way. The hard part is doing things my way when there are other musician's there. Like when I've been at jam nights. As a drummer I've got to be able to lead dynamically and believe what I play is good. How you getting on with that?
He's talking now about how he chose not to get a degree. Studied for 3 and a half years, but only did it to learn. Didn't see a degree as any sort of accomplishment. That's refreshing, and also very true. I've said enough time that being at College is a bit of a waste of time, but I'm doing it for mum and dad really, which funnily is what he's saying now. They have the attitude like 'I'm sending you to college, I want to see a degree'. I get that, to an extent. But the way I see it they sent me to college so I can get a career, and if I do that they shouldn't be worried about getting a degree. But then if a degree is perceived to be an accomplishment maybe that gives it validation.
Just been messaging Kerry, she's invited me to play at the second ICE band night on Friday at Images. Really looking forward to that. Probably be the biggest crowd I've played to! Gonna do at least 3 of my own - 'Show What Love Is', '24 Hour Drive Thru' and 'The First Step'. Probably leave it at that. Think I'm gonna 'The A Team' cos it should go down well. Also considering doing One Direction haha. Not sure how that would go down. I'll see what the vibes are on the night and go with it. Should be good.
Last couple days saw me rekindle an obsession with Champ Man - took Rangers to the Champs League semis in my third season, won back to back domestic trebles - then lose it again, all in one weekend ha. Not sure how I feel about that. Undoubtedly lost some time to my brief stint on it, but then it's good to have had some fun with it that didn't last too long. Last time I playing I thought that was forever. But I reckon I'll always be playing that game, or at least some game. Maybe one day I'll eventually get a new Football Manager haha.
Anyway, I could talk shite all day, but I need to get out of here and god eat something. Weight gain diet still in full effect! Not seeing huge results yet but it's gonna be a long slog. Wonder if you're still doing it? Maybe it became part of your life? Or maybe you gave up haha. I made pasta last night, was quite proud of myself for that. With mum being away all week I've been doing a lot more cooking. Got the burns to prove it ha! Still, it's good experience for me.
Anyway, aye, going. What I really ought to do is come on more often and say less. But I probably won't...
Monday, 4 March 2013
4/3/13 - 12.30pm
I've been kinda dreading doing a post like this - we got some very sad news through on Friday night there that Bappou had passed away in hospital. It's been tough. I'm not sure how to feel. I get waves of sadness, and am struggling to understand how a life can end when everything else keeps moving... But keep moving it does. Still got college work and lessons to get on with, so I'm staying busy which is probably for the best. I don't mind that. There's a part of me that feels like the best thing I can do to honour Bappou's memory is to get on my life, and keep striving to do the best I can. There's a lot I want from life, a lot I'm capable of and if I can achieve that I know he would've been proud. He was proud of us all anyway. :) The funeral will probably be sometime next week, Mum's down there now being with everyone and helping make plans. I think in part it won't really hit me til I get to London. When I do it'll be even harder, but I'm determined to celebrate Bappou's life when we're there. He was the sort of man who made and impression on everyone he met, and he lived a life worth celebrating.
In other matters, and in the name of keeping busy I've been working on the Weckl piece I'm gonna do for my degree performance - Island Magic. I really quite love this tune, it's got a great mix of Latin and 80s feel about it, and the melodies are great. It's also got some really cool grooves, and what I can play of it so far I really enjoy. I've been working pretty intensely on it - it feels good to really knuckle down and try to achieve something. On the hand I don't think I'm gonna get it down in time for the programme sample which is in 2 days, which means I'll be relying on the band which is nowhere near prepared. We've currently only got one rehearsal before then tomorrow, which really isn't enough. The whole thing could be a disaster but I don't care. It's not graded, and as long as I pass in the end that's what matters.
I did take a break from practicing on Saturday - Louise and Andy had got Dan, Chris and me tickets to see Sunderland v Fulham (so Louise could see Berba ha) and we decided we should go in spite of everything - there's no point putting life on hold in the end of the day. We had a good day, the match was actually pretty good - finished 2-2 each, was plenty action - and we had a nice dinner at Shearer's bar in Newcastle (it was good to get to finally see it ha). The only downside was it was pretty cramped in the back of the car with Dan and Chris (we've all grown up a bit from when we used to do that!), but I made up for it by drinking haha. Cherry B ftw! Still got a bottle in the fridge, but I'm gonna have to get more of that stuff haha. Dan went home after but the rest of us went out in Lanark - Andy and Lou as well, which was really nice. Just about everyone was out really, Ryan, Marc, Scorge, Ally Bash, Grant and his burd and Lou and Andy. Was good to have everyone there for a change. Now Grant's working 9-5 again we're seeing a lot more of him which is good. The other guys may not forgive him for disappearing for a couple of years but I missed him, and I'm happy we're getting to see him again. Saying that I might not be making it out so much over the next couple of months. Got one big final push to get to the end of this degree then life really starts I think. :)
Anyway I'm gonna wrap that up there. Need to get home and eat (still got the weight-gain diet going!), and also gotta plan lessons. Got the Braidwood kids tonight, with Nadia wanting to start with drum lessons, and also got a new student learning drums - a 13 year old girl from Forth, so that should be interesting!
I'm gonna end by saying, on record: Bappou, I love you, and I miss you, and I'll never, ever forget you. I hope you're at peace now.
In other matters, and in the name of keeping busy I've been working on the Weckl piece I'm gonna do for my degree performance - Island Magic. I really quite love this tune, it's got a great mix of Latin and 80s feel about it, and the melodies are great. It's also got some really cool grooves, and what I can play of it so far I really enjoy. I've been working pretty intensely on it - it feels good to really knuckle down and try to achieve something. On the hand I don't think I'm gonna get it down in time for the programme sample which is in 2 days, which means I'll be relying on the band which is nowhere near prepared. We've currently only got one rehearsal before then tomorrow, which really isn't enough. The whole thing could be a disaster but I don't care. It's not graded, and as long as I pass in the end that's what matters.
I did take a break from practicing on Saturday - Louise and Andy had got Dan, Chris and me tickets to see Sunderland v Fulham (so Louise could see Berba ha) and we decided we should go in spite of everything - there's no point putting life on hold in the end of the day. We had a good day, the match was actually pretty good - finished 2-2 each, was plenty action - and we had a nice dinner at Shearer's bar in Newcastle (it was good to get to finally see it ha). The only downside was it was pretty cramped in the back of the car with Dan and Chris (we've all grown up a bit from when we used to do that!), but I made up for it by drinking haha. Cherry B ftw! Still got a bottle in the fridge, but I'm gonna have to get more of that stuff haha. Dan went home after but the rest of us went out in Lanark - Andy and Lou as well, which was really nice. Just about everyone was out really, Ryan, Marc, Scorge, Ally Bash, Grant and his burd and Lou and Andy. Was good to have everyone there for a change. Now Grant's working 9-5 again we're seeing a lot more of him which is good. The other guys may not forgive him for disappearing for a couple of years but I missed him, and I'm happy we're getting to see him again. Saying that I might not be making it out so much over the next couple of months. Got one big final push to get to the end of this degree then life really starts I think. :)
Anyway I'm gonna wrap that up there. Need to get home and eat (still got the weight-gain diet going!), and also gotta plan lessons. Got the Braidwood kids tonight, with Nadia wanting to start with drum lessons, and also got a new student learning drums - a 13 year old girl from Forth, so that should be interesting!
I'm gonna end by saying, on record: Bappou, I love you, and I miss you, and I'll never, ever forget you. I hope you're at peace now.
Monday, 25 February 2013
25/2/13 - 11.45am
Gonna have to make this quite brief - rescheduled a lesson with Rich that I missed cos of snow for noon today, plus I really need to pee.
Just got my grade back for my presentation. Got an A. :) Pretty chuffed with that, hadn't thought it went that well but turns out I was right on the money in terms of the material I prepared for it which is nice to know.
Got a new double bass drum pedal the other day for this performance I'm doing. Was quite a cheap one - only £70 new, but I think it'll do a job. Will benefit me to do some work with it. I don't have much time to bring myself up to standard for the performance though. Thankfully none of the pieces we're doing for the showcase next month require it's use. I've started an intense practice schedule with it, just doing basic endurance exercises and rudiments that I'd have used for hand work. Of course I do all that whilst watching BBT or HIMYM or New Girl on the Laptop. ALso Community season 4 just started. Don't think it's as good as it was though tbh. Still love the character's but the scripting's not the same. Shouldn't have sacked Dan Harmon.
Other than that not much to report I don't think. Lessons are all going okay. Got the Braidwood kids the night, which I kinda dread which is a shame. I'll keep doing my best though. Seeing it all pay off with Max and Sophie and Conner and Craig though which is cool. Also might have a new student on the horizon - some guy in Forth has a daughter learning drums. Will be my first exclusive drum student which will be cool!
Need to start posting more regularly. I keep forgetting til I'm in the library which is a shame cos all I do is talk about College stuff! Outside of that I had a good open mic at the Crown the other night. Also played football that night and apparently had a really good game. Starting to get into the swing of that which is cool.
Now that I think about there is a bigger thing I'm forgetting - started a new exercise and diet regime. Doesn't sound like big news but I think I might stick with this one. Eating constantly which is a nice bonus ha, and exercising every night. Is def gonna reap rewards.
Also not sure if I've mentioned it but Avicii's new song feat. Nicky Romero is awesome.Been proper loving it this last week. Went to no 1 in the charts and everything which is quite an achievement. Don't think it did anywhere else in Europe though which is weird ha!
Anyways best get moving. Drum lesson awaits. Wait, I saw another one yesterday... What was it? Damn forgot. If I remember I'll say!
Just got my grade back for my presentation. Got an A. :) Pretty chuffed with that, hadn't thought it went that well but turns out I was right on the money in terms of the material I prepared for it which is nice to know.
Got a new double bass drum pedal the other day for this performance I'm doing. Was quite a cheap one - only £70 new, but I think it'll do a job. Will benefit me to do some work with it. I don't have much time to bring myself up to standard for the performance though. Thankfully none of the pieces we're doing for the showcase next month require it's use. I've started an intense practice schedule with it, just doing basic endurance exercises and rudiments that I'd have used for hand work. Of course I do all that whilst watching BBT or HIMYM or New Girl on the Laptop. ALso Community season 4 just started. Don't think it's as good as it was though tbh. Still love the character's but the scripting's not the same. Shouldn't have sacked Dan Harmon.
Other than that not much to report I don't think. Lessons are all going okay. Got the Braidwood kids the night, which I kinda dread which is a shame. I'll keep doing my best though. Seeing it all pay off with Max and Sophie and Conner and Craig though which is cool. Also might have a new student on the horizon - some guy in Forth has a daughter learning drums. Will be my first exclusive drum student which will be cool!
Need to start posting more regularly. I keep forgetting til I'm in the library which is a shame cos all I do is talk about College stuff! Outside of that I had a good open mic at the Crown the other night. Also played football that night and apparently had a really good game. Starting to get into the swing of that which is cool.
Now that I think about there is a bigger thing I'm forgetting - started a new exercise and diet regime. Doesn't sound like big news but I think I might stick with this one. Eating constantly which is a nice bonus ha, and exercising every night. Is def gonna reap rewards.
Also not sure if I've mentioned it but Avicii's new song feat. Nicky Romero is awesome.Been proper loving it this last week. Went to no 1 in the charts and everything which is quite an achievement. Don't think it did anywhere else in Europe though which is weird ha!
Anyways best get moving. Drum lesson awaits. Wait, I saw another one yesterday... What was it? Damn forgot. If I remember I'll say!
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
19/2/13 - about 10.30am
Yes, it's one of those... EARLY MORNINGS. I don't think I'll ever be a morning person. Saying that once I've got past the shock of being up in essentially the middle of the night I usually get on alright. Had my drum lesson with Rich which was alright, was given a Cha-cha piece to look at - left foot Guiro pattern, that should be fun - and did a bit more work on the reel Pretty Marion which I'm really enjoying. Don't know what it is about snare drum music, it just appeals to me, the challenge of it, and generally hitting sticks off a pad just feels good ha. I think the fact I seem to improve as quickly as I do makes it more enjoyable. It takes me a bit of time but I always seem to get it in the end and I can feel the difference.
Not really got much more to say right now. Avicii's new song 'I Could Be The One' went to number 1 at the weekend and I'm obsessed with. It's been playing in my head for 3 days straight now and I still love it. Beautiful piece of music, on a par with Levels, which is saying something. Of course this all leads me back to one of my old problems - the muso vs the pop fan. I had some new thoughts about that today. Maybe the muso part is something I'll do later in life. Play jazz gigs and shows and stuff on drums. If right now I want to make pop music and get famous that's cool really. Yes, it does make me question why I've spent so much time working on other things but that's just life. There's still time for me to do everything I want to, I just gotta get on it asap.
Of course on the other hand there's still this degree. Ordered a double bass drum pedal yesterday for my performance. Gonna really have to work with it though. Doing a song called 'Selkies' by Between the Buried and Me which has some pretty tough stuff in it. I've never really been a great dbd player but I guess it's time to get on it. Been listening to the song and started learning it but it's tough, will take some time, and even more to play it well. Would help if I had an mp3 player broke - my Sansa broke the other day. One of the ear's has gone pretty much. Ordered a new one, hopefully will be arriving today. It's red, and should be an upgrade on the other one although a lot people say it's debatable. I think I'll like it more anyway. I wasn't keen on using the rockbox on the other one, and the playlists didn't work. Will be nice to make some playlists again!
Also been reading 'The Game' by Neill Strauss. Very interesting read, really enjoying it so far. Some useful tips in there for getting girls, even if you're not a PUA. I don't think I ever could be a PUA, but it's made me think about relationships. They obviously treat relationships very lightly, and if I were in one would they still be a threat to me? They obviously think so. Makes you realise maybe it's important to make yourself attractive regardless of your position. Even if I get a girlfriend it would pay to have some tricks to ward off other guys. Girls like what they like by default. Just because you're a good guy and they've decided they love you doesn't mean they won't be attracted to other things. Think that's important to remember.
I'm gonna leave it at that. Could talk all day of course but I wanna update my other blogs and shit. Btw, 'Madam'. That popped up in the book last night, that's another good one.
Ciao for now.
Not really got much more to say right now. Avicii's new song 'I Could Be The One' went to number 1 at the weekend and I'm obsessed with. It's been playing in my head for 3 days straight now and I still love it. Beautiful piece of music, on a par with Levels, which is saying something. Of course this all leads me back to one of my old problems - the muso vs the pop fan. I had some new thoughts about that today. Maybe the muso part is something I'll do later in life. Play jazz gigs and shows and stuff on drums. If right now I want to make pop music and get famous that's cool really. Yes, it does make me question why I've spent so much time working on other things but that's just life. There's still time for me to do everything I want to, I just gotta get on it asap.
Of course on the other hand there's still this degree. Ordered a double bass drum pedal yesterday for my performance. Gonna really have to work with it though. Doing a song called 'Selkies' by Between the Buried and Me which has some pretty tough stuff in it. I've never really been a great dbd player but I guess it's time to get on it. Been listening to the song and started learning it but it's tough, will take some time, and even more to play it well. Would help if I had an mp3 player broke - my Sansa broke the other day. One of the ear's has gone pretty much. Ordered a new one, hopefully will be arriving today. It's red, and should be an upgrade on the other one although a lot people say it's debatable. I think I'll like it more anyway. I wasn't keen on using the rockbox on the other one, and the playlists didn't work. Will be nice to make some playlists again!
Also been reading 'The Game' by Neill Strauss. Very interesting read, really enjoying it so far. Some useful tips in there for getting girls, even if you're not a PUA. I don't think I ever could be a PUA, but it's made me think about relationships. They obviously treat relationships very lightly, and if I were in one would they still be a threat to me? They obviously think so. Makes you realise maybe it's important to make yourself attractive regardless of your position. Even if I get a girlfriend it would pay to have some tricks to ward off other guys. Girls like what they like by default. Just because you're a good guy and they've decided they love you doesn't mean they won't be attracted to other things. Think that's important to remember.
I'm gonna leave it at that. Could talk all day of course but I wanna update my other blogs and shit. Btw, 'Madam'. That popped up in the book last night, that's another good one.
Ciao for now.
Monday, 11 February 2013
11/2/13 - about 2.30pm
I'm beginning to lose interest in writing this blog, which is a shame. Seems that's the way everything goes for me, I start with conviction and just slowly lose it til I stop. I'm going to persevere with it though, cos I know there's merit in this even if I can't feel it right now.
Maybe it's not entirely my fault. College just seems to be sucking the life out of me right now, there's so much to do for it, including blogs for some of my projects in it. Speaking of which, I was already planning on updating my project blog but it's just occurred to me I've not updated my performance one in ages so I'd better get on that...
So what's happening right now? It's Monday, and I'm off college all week, have a holiday apparently which is good. Still got plenty to get on with though. Been practising sight-reading on the glock. Not doing well at it. Getting a bit better I guess, but still not fluent enough over whole pieces. Keep forgetting dynamic markings and stuff. I'll be talking enough about that in my other blog though so I ain't gonna bother here haha.
Called up and emailed the college to try and book a rehearsal room for tomorrow but I don't seem to be getting through which is pretty shit. Tomorrow's the one day everyone seems cool to practise so I really wanna get one in. God, everything's just trying to fall apart.
Went out in Edinburgh on Saturday there for Siobhan's 22nd. Was a good night in many respects - didn't spend much for once and did what I set out to do which was cool. Had started reading 'The Game' the night before we went, think that inspired me in some way haha. Got a bit too drunk as usual though - drinking cider always ends like that for me. Felt like the guys and girls were too separated over the night which was a shame, wanted Siobhan to still feel like we were there for her. On the other hand that made doing other things easier. And when I think about it I did see the girls intermittently, and talked to them I think, just don't remember properly ha. Still, was a guid night all in all.
But now, back to business. I know I've moaned about it and said it all too much but I can't wait til this course is over. It's the weight of everything at once... Teaching, performance, project and the blogs. I need to do stuff for all of that today alone. It's just pish. Haven't written properly in ages, want to get back to recording as well but I've no time for that. Guess I'll get there eventually, just gotta keep juggling these balls for a couple more months and we'll be in the clear...
Other things on my mind. Nadal played in the Chile open, his first tournament back from injury. Stormed to the final but got beaten by the 73rd seed or something haha. Strange things.
Got a text from Teri there about booking a holiday. Wish I could but I ain't gonna have money. If I keep saving a bit I should be able to do something over the summer but not a big assed holiday. Next year I think. Still need to buy new cymbals soon. That's on my to-do list today as well. Need to research what kind of cymbals I want. I do often wonder if life will ever really be relaxing. Maybe I don't want it to be. More than it is I think though.
Maybe it's not entirely my fault. College just seems to be sucking the life out of me right now, there's so much to do for it, including blogs for some of my projects in it. Speaking of which, I was already planning on updating my project blog but it's just occurred to me I've not updated my performance one in ages so I'd better get on that...
So what's happening right now? It's Monday, and I'm off college all week, have a holiday apparently which is good. Still got plenty to get on with though. Been practising sight-reading on the glock. Not doing well at it. Getting a bit better I guess, but still not fluent enough over whole pieces. Keep forgetting dynamic markings and stuff. I'll be talking enough about that in my other blog though so I ain't gonna bother here haha.
Called up and emailed the college to try and book a rehearsal room for tomorrow but I don't seem to be getting through which is pretty shit. Tomorrow's the one day everyone seems cool to practise so I really wanna get one in. God, everything's just trying to fall apart.
Went out in Edinburgh on Saturday there for Siobhan's 22nd. Was a good night in many respects - didn't spend much for once and did what I set out to do which was cool. Had started reading 'The Game' the night before we went, think that inspired me in some way haha. Got a bit too drunk as usual though - drinking cider always ends like that for me. Felt like the guys and girls were too separated over the night which was a shame, wanted Siobhan to still feel like we were there for her. On the other hand that made doing other things easier. And when I think about it I did see the girls intermittently, and talked to them I think, just don't remember properly ha. Still, was a guid night all in all.
But now, back to business. I know I've moaned about it and said it all too much but I can't wait til this course is over. It's the weight of everything at once... Teaching, performance, project and the blogs. I need to do stuff for all of that today alone. It's just pish. Haven't written properly in ages, want to get back to recording as well but I've no time for that. Guess I'll get there eventually, just gotta keep juggling these balls for a couple more months and we'll be in the clear...
Other things on my mind. Nadal played in the Chile open, his first tournament back from injury. Stormed to the final but got beaten by the 73rd seed or something haha. Strange things.
Got a text from Teri there about booking a holiday. Wish I could but I ain't gonna have money. If I keep saving a bit I should be able to do something over the summer but not a big assed holiday. Next year I think. Still need to buy new cymbals soon. That's on my to-do list today as well. Need to research what kind of cymbals I want. I do often wonder if life will ever really be relaxing. Maybe I don't want it to be. More than it is I think though.
Monday, 4 February 2013
4/2/13 - about 2.30pm
Did a presentation for instrumental teaching today, talking about grade 3 & 5 Rockschool pieces and how to help students bridge the gap between them. Also talked a bit about 'Some You Win', a grade 8 piece at the end of. The whole Power-Point's on a black memory stick if you still have it. The presentation itself I think was alright, although I'm not sure if he wanted us to say more about learning styles and stuff. Spoke to Ruairidh beforehand and he mentioned talking about Kolb's learning cycle which I didn't mention at all. But delivering the presentation was a bit of a nightmare. Made mistakes toward the end of my quick study snare piece then spent the first half of the presentation itself pointing to the computer instead of the actual projector screen! Forget to play clips of the songs I was discussing, although that wasn't the worst thing as it cut the time down a bit, and had to keep going back and forth to the drum kit which might have looked silly. I wish I'd had a control for the projector. Then at the end I had to perform a bit of Some You Win and didn't turn the music up nearly loud enough so went out of time a couple of times which will have looked silly. I don't think I'll have failed, and that's all that really matters, but I'm annoyed at myself again for not relaxing more. I don't want to get nervous. A bit of nerves is fine but my brain needs to start functioning better in pressure situations. Stop clamming up!
Aside from that not much happening. Got more lessons on the go which is good money-wise. Had my first lessons with Max and Sophie last week and they went quite well. Max seems very promising. Only and loves performing and singing. Isn't at all afraid which is great. I'm gonna enjoy teaching him.
Trying to keep on top of instrumental teaching stuff. It's a pain in the arse. About to go and try finish plans and evaluations for Mum and Chris's lessons now. Also need to arrange my next lesson with Jamie. Will be glad when that's all over. That goes for the whole course really. I've got plenty of things I wanna get on with. Wanna keep singing (although my voice is ALWAYS going), wanna join a function band, make some money and I just can't find the time to do any of this stuff. Can't wait til I can.
In other matters it's Siobhan's birthday this weekend, going out in Edinburgh apparently which should be good. Be my... 3rd time out in Edinburgh? or 4th maybe? No, just 3rd. Not sure exactly who'll all be going, don't think Chris has had it mentioned so doubt him and his mates will be there this time but should be good anyway.
Anyways. Back to work. Groans.
Aside from that not much happening. Got more lessons on the go which is good money-wise. Had my first lessons with Max and Sophie last week and they went quite well. Max seems very promising. Only and loves performing and singing. Isn't at all afraid which is great. I'm gonna enjoy teaching him.
Trying to keep on top of instrumental teaching stuff. It's a pain in the arse. About to go and try finish plans and evaluations for Mum and Chris's lessons now. Also need to arrange my next lesson with Jamie. Will be glad when that's all over. That goes for the whole course really. I've got plenty of things I wanna get on with. Wanna keep singing (although my voice is ALWAYS going), wanna join a function band, make some money and I just can't find the time to do any of this stuff. Can't wait til I can.
In other matters it's Siobhan's birthday this weekend, going out in Edinburgh apparently which should be good. Be my... 3rd time out in Edinburgh? or 4th maybe? No, just 3rd. Not sure exactly who'll all be going, don't think Chris has had it mentioned so doubt him and his mates will be there this time but should be good anyway.
Anyways. Back to work. Groans.
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
30/1/13 - about half 11am
First essay result came in. Not sure why this is big news, cos I'm not even really that fussed and I know you certainly won't be, but you know what it's like - you do the work and hang around a place where everyone takes it seriously and you begin to too.
Anyway, got an A-. Pretty happy with that tbh, although I think there were a few around a similar grade so it doesn't put me on a pedestal or anything. Still when I think about it that subject really WASN'T for me so I've gotta be pretty happy with the mark. It is equivalates to 18/20. Jamie got an A, which would be 19/20. Wee bit gutted he beat me but pretty pleased for him as well - looks like I was right, there is some intelligence under the not really giving much of a shit haha!
Not much else to report, still just trying to keep on top of things. Had my first rehearsal for performance yesterday. Need to really work on the songs but I'm pleased with the guys I've got - a guy called Dave on bass who responded to my email and a guy he knew called Dechlan on guitar. They know the place much better than me so they'll help get other people involved and stuff which is good, and they seem to know their stuff so I wanna really get on it considering I'm meant to be the degree guy! Got an email from Annette saying we're to do a short presentation on where we're at including a finalised programme... And of course I've been in the first group this Monday coming. Gotta get that last track sorted.
Got a couple new lessons starting this week - going to Newmains for one tomorrow night and then got one in Cleghorn on Sat. Could be earning a decent amount at this rate. It's making me think maybe I would be best sticking around here. If I could get a function band together, keep doing lessons and get and play my own music as well... That would be a decent life. Like I've said, we'll see though.
Anyway, got an A-. Pretty happy with that tbh, although I think there were a few around a similar grade so it doesn't put me on a pedestal or anything. Still when I think about it that subject really WASN'T for me so I've gotta be pretty happy with the mark. It is equivalates to 18/20. Jamie got an A, which would be 19/20. Wee bit gutted he beat me but pretty pleased for him as well - looks like I was right, there is some intelligence under the not really giving much of a shit haha!
Not much else to report, still just trying to keep on top of things. Had my first rehearsal for performance yesterday. Need to really work on the songs but I'm pleased with the guys I've got - a guy called Dave on bass who responded to my email and a guy he knew called Dechlan on guitar. They know the place much better than me so they'll help get other people involved and stuff which is good, and they seem to know their stuff so I wanna really get on it considering I'm meant to be the degree guy! Got an email from Annette saying we're to do a short presentation on where we're at including a finalised programme... And of course I've been in the first group this Monday coming. Gotta get that last track sorted.
Got a couple new lessons starting this week - going to Newmains for one tomorrow night and then got one in Cleghorn on Sat. Could be earning a decent amount at this rate. It's making me think maybe I would be best sticking around here. If I could get a function band together, keep doing lessons and get and play my own music as well... That would be a decent life. Like I've said, we'll see though.
Monday, 28 January 2013
28/1/13 - about midday
And I've been up for almost an hour, which is pretty good by my standards. Had some toast and páte. Was guid. Gotta try and start getting up earlier, got the awful news last week that I'll have 9am starts on Tues and Wed this semester... It's gonna be a long one.
So what's going on atm? Trying to keep on top of coursework... Still doing lessons with Maw and Chris, they're going alright. Meant to be doing lessons with Jamie from college as well but he didn't even turn up for our last one... looks like I'll be fabricating some stuff. As for actual lessons had a total rager last thurs - was meant to have 2 lessons that night and they both apparently forgot. Not good enough. I kept the night free for them, end up £30 out of pocket and didn't go out all weekend as a result. I didn't mind not going out, felt like a good weekend to stay in and take it easy. But I'm gonna speak to Jackie and Scott and be more harsh about it in future. We arrange lessons for definite and I want at least 24 hours notice or they get charged regardless. It's only fair, I have to be able to rely on income from these lessons or else I'd be as well not doing them.
FA Cup at the weekend there. Arsenal just got through 3-2 away at Brighton, which wasn't the most convincing result but given Norwich went out 1-0 to Conference Luton, Chelsea drew away at Brentford, Villa went out to Millwall (after losing the League Cup semi to League 2 Bradford the other day!), Spurs lost away at Leeds (hahahahahahahaha) and Liverpool managed to lose AT HOME to Oldham I'm just happy we got through! We could do with winning this cup. We need one.
Downloaded a game on my phone (yes, the Sony Ericsson phone I love so much) the other day called 'Fantasy Kingdom Defense' and quickly became obsessed with it. It's well made in fairness and very addictive, especially for me haha. Eventually it got too hard and became time consuming so I had to stop playing it, but then proceeded to install the original Age of Empires again instead haha. Probably will play that later if I get a chance!
Saying that I've a lot to do today. Would like to practice drums (got an assessment on displacement and modulation tomorrow - 16th note displacement at 110bpm, not cool!), and snare pieces, and glock, and need to burn CDs for tonight's lesson, and need to get powerpoint on this laptop - got a presentation for tecahing next Monday. Should be fine, but will need to practice it to get the times right, can see me going over the limit!
Sure I've got other stuff to do as well... I'll be glad when this course is over. I wanna start making money. Still don't know if I'll be doing it here or in London but we'll see. Speaking of which Natasha's got a tour as a backing singer with Rita Ora. Really pleased for her, also pretty jealous but it's fine, my time will come! For now, just gonna try stay on top of things haha. Catch ye. (Y)
So what's going on atm? Trying to keep on top of coursework... Still doing lessons with Maw and Chris, they're going alright. Meant to be doing lessons with Jamie from college as well but he didn't even turn up for our last one... looks like I'll be fabricating some stuff. As for actual lessons had a total rager last thurs - was meant to have 2 lessons that night and they both apparently forgot. Not good enough. I kept the night free for them, end up £30 out of pocket and didn't go out all weekend as a result. I didn't mind not going out, felt like a good weekend to stay in and take it easy. But I'm gonna speak to Jackie and Scott and be more harsh about it in future. We arrange lessons for definite and I want at least 24 hours notice or they get charged regardless. It's only fair, I have to be able to rely on income from these lessons or else I'd be as well not doing them.
FA Cup at the weekend there. Arsenal just got through 3-2 away at Brighton, which wasn't the most convincing result but given Norwich went out 1-0 to Conference Luton, Chelsea drew away at Brentford, Villa went out to Millwall (after losing the League Cup semi to League 2 Bradford the other day!), Spurs lost away at Leeds (hahahahahahahaha) and Liverpool managed to lose AT HOME to Oldham I'm just happy we got through! We could do with winning this cup. We need one.
Downloaded a game on my phone (yes, the Sony Ericsson phone I love so much) the other day called 'Fantasy Kingdom Defense' and quickly became obsessed with it. It's well made in fairness and very addictive, especially for me haha. Eventually it got too hard and became time consuming so I had to stop playing it, but then proceeded to install the original Age of Empires again instead haha. Probably will play that later if I get a chance!
Saying that I've a lot to do today. Would like to practice drums (got an assessment on displacement and modulation tomorrow - 16th note displacement at 110bpm, not cool!), and snare pieces, and glock, and need to burn CDs for tonight's lesson, and need to get powerpoint on this laptop - got a presentation for tecahing next Monday. Should be fine, but will need to practice it to get the times right, can see me going over the limit!
Sure I've got other stuff to do as well... I'll be glad when this course is over. I wanna start making money. Still don't know if I'll be doing it here or in London but we'll see. Speaking of which Natasha's got a tour as a backing singer with Rita Ora. Really pleased for her, also pretty jealous but it's fine, my time will come! For now, just gonna try stay on top of things haha. Catch ye. (Y)
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
22/1/13 - about 11.30am
I'm making an arse of everything right now, and feeling like quite a loser tbh. Not a very nice feeling. Played shite at football on Sunday for the second week running, was late for my lesson with the Braidwood kids cos I hadn't prepared stuff early enough, was absolute shite on songpop (which isn't important I know but was just very typical of the sort of funk I'm in right now) then had a fucking awful lesson this morning with Rich (I'm trying to cut down on using the F-word, but it was merited there... More on that later). I just couldn't play anything right, he was putting music in front of me - Billy's Bounce by Charlie Parker and a new snare piece - and I just couldn't read it. I don't what's wrong with me right now. Maybe I'm just tired. Went to bed about half 1 last night, didn't sleep til after 3. Just usual sleeping habits. I hate having to get up early. I hate getting up full stop. This country's just a pain in the arse, it's always cold and as usual there's snow everywhere right now. I don't know how I survived growing up. It's shite.
I'll be very glad when this degree's over. I can't even really think about that right now though cos I've got so much to do for it... Need to try and sort a band for performance which isn't gonna be easy cos I'm not sure I'll find anyone to play LTS on guitar. I looked over it yesterday myself and found I could play some of it but that intro's a bitch. Then there's teaching which I'm about to start my presentation for, on top of actually teaching Maw and Chris and Jamie. Fact is I can't half-arse things, if I'm gonna do it I wanna do it right... Or at least try. Don't think I actually am doing it right but I'm putting together plans and evaluations and stuff. Who cares.
This has been a very moany post, I know. I hate that. I hate that all I do is moan, and no one's ever gonna actually love me. Fact is I'm generally feeling very down on myself right now. Was watching back videos from my lessons with Mum and Chris the other day and I realised I don't even come across as being that nice. I'm totally different to how I think I am. There's a reason everyone always tells me I'm condescending and arrogant - it's cos that's exactly how I act. Or at least that's how I come across. No one's ever gonna really like me. I wonder if my friends even do tbh. I wish I could record myself all the time and review it. I want to know if I've always been like this. Maybe I should stop thinking about it.
Anyway this isn't getting me anywhere. I'm gonna go try do some work. If I can do that without messing it up.
I'll be very glad when this degree's over. I can't even really think about that right now though cos I've got so much to do for it... Need to try and sort a band for performance which isn't gonna be easy cos I'm not sure I'll find anyone to play LTS on guitar. I looked over it yesterday myself and found I could play some of it but that intro's a bitch. Then there's teaching which I'm about to start my presentation for, on top of actually teaching Maw and Chris and Jamie. Fact is I can't half-arse things, if I'm gonna do it I wanna do it right... Or at least try. Don't think I actually am doing it right but I'm putting together plans and evaluations and stuff. Who cares.
This has been a very moany post, I know. I hate that. I hate that all I do is moan, and no one's ever gonna actually love me. Fact is I'm generally feeling very down on myself right now. Was watching back videos from my lessons with Mum and Chris the other day and I realised I don't even come across as being that nice. I'm totally different to how I think I am. There's a reason everyone always tells me I'm condescending and arrogant - it's cos that's exactly how I act. Or at least that's how I come across. No one's ever gonna really like me. I wonder if my friends even do tbh. I wish I could record myself all the time and review it. I want to know if I've always been like this. Maybe I should stop thinking about it.
Anyway this isn't getting me anywhere. I'm gonna go try do some work. If I can do that without messing it up.
Thursday, 17 January 2013
18/1/13 - 2.36 (Starting)
Yeah, it's late, and I don't have much time, which is a typical situation for me atm. So I'm gonna have to briefly summarise goings on:
Finished essays and handed them all in today (YASSSSS). Posted a FB status that summed it up - "I'm finding increasingly that the words 'Fuck it, that'll do' are becoming a part of coursework submission process...". Yep, typo'd and everything.
Aussie Open is on TV, currently watching Jankovic v Ivanovic - all Serbian tie. Ivanovic is stunning. Murray's eased through first couple of round, Robson beat Kvitova in 2nd round today - well in - and Watson got thrashed by Radwanska in the 3rd.
Played open mic at the Crown the night. Felt I played alright, was more relaxed than last time. Main problem was how I conducted myself. I need to get myself OUT THERE. I need people to know what I want. To be successful. Johnny Cab and Neil and Barry and Kenny turned up and stayed to watch me which I appreciated, but I wasn't sure how to handle the attention. I never am. It's something I need to sort out I think. It's okay if I've got people I'm comfortable with around me. I'm happy to be the confident guy around them. But when I walk into the bar with no one else with me (which is what I did tonight) I can't be the main man. But then I don't think anyone could in that situation. It's a bar full of people I don't know. But no, some people could. Some people can walk in and just be the centre of attention. Be the main man. But not everyone who's big in music. I dunno. Probably best not to dwell on it.
Going for lunch with maw and paw and chris the morra. China Bleu lunch. Yum. Just realised that name makes no sense given it's a Chinese restaurant with a French word in it's name. Also going to Pink Turban with Ally on Saturday. It's gonna be a good weekend haha.
I've actually been thinking a lot about my diet lately, ever since last Sat. Craig was talking about it and talking about my body type and what I should do to build muscle, and telling me I should start now. I've started eating more regularly. Apparently lots of small meals is good for me. I've just decided there must be reason why I'm always hungry, and it probably stunts my growth if I don't eat more. I've started doing some exercises again, just crunches and push-ups. Dan's got the weights anyway. I figure if I do that every day though - like, EVERY day - that still ought to have an impact. And keep eating. Even if I just put on weight that'd be a good thing, I'd rather have a bit more bulk even with no more muscle than stay the size I am. It's kind of a good feeling really - how many people find themselves having to put on weight? I wonder how fat you are haha.
Anyway, as you can see that post wasn't as short as it should have been. but then I want to keep you up with what's going on. So you remember. Gotta go sort lessons plans for lesson 3 with Mum and Chris now haha. The joy.
Oh btw, Sexes. That's a guid one. :)
Finished essays and handed them all in today (YASSSSS). Posted a FB status that summed it up - "I'm finding increasingly that the words 'Fuck it, that'll do' are becoming a part of coursework submission process...". Yep, typo'd and everything.
Aussie Open is on TV, currently watching Jankovic v Ivanovic - all Serbian tie. Ivanovic is stunning. Murray's eased through first couple of round, Robson beat Kvitova in 2nd round today - well in - and Watson got thrashed by Radwanska in the 3rd.
Played open mic at the Crown the night. Felt I played alright, was more relaxed than last time. Main problem was how I conducted myself. I need to get myself OUT THERE. I need people to know what I want. To be successful. Johnny Cab and Neil and Barry and Kenny turned up and stayed to watch me which I appreciated, but I wasn't sure how to handle the attention. I never am. It's something I need to sort out I think. It's okay if I've got people I'm comfortable with around me. I'm happy to be the confident guy around them. But when I walk into the bar with no one else with me (which is what I did tonight) I can't be the main man. But then I don't think anyone could in that situation. It's a bar full of people I don't know. But no, some people could. Some people can walk in and just be the centre of attention. Be the main man. But not everyone who's big in music. I dunno. Probably best not to dwell on it.
Going for lunch with maw and paw and chris the morra. China Bleu lunch. Yum. Just realised that name makes no sense given it's a Chinese restaurant with a French word in it's name. Also going to Pink Turban with Ally on Saturday. It's gonna be a good weekend haha.
I've actually been thinking a lot about my diet lately, ever since last Sat. Craig was talking about it and talking about my body type and what I should do to build muscle, and telling me I should start now. I've started eating more regularly. Apparently lots of small meals is good for me. I've just decided there must be reason why I'm always hungry, and it probably stunts my growth if I don't eat more. I've started doing some exercises again, just crunches and push-ups. Dan's got the weights anyway. I figure if I do that every day though - like, EVERY day - that still ought to have an impact. And keep eating. Even if I just put on weight that'd be a good thing, I'd rather have a bit more bulk even with no more muscle than stay the size I am. It's kind of a good feeling really - how many people find themselves having to put on weight? I wonder how fat you are haha.
Anyway, as you can see that post wasn't as short as it should have been. but then I want to keep you up with what's going on. So you remember. Gotta go sort lessons plans for lesson 3 with Mum and Chris now haha. The joy.
Oh btw, Sexes. That's a guid one. :)
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
8/1/13 - about half 11
am that is this time. Totally contradicting my last post ha. Feeling good today, no idea why. Just one of those days where things seem to be going alright. Just had a drum lesson with Rich, which I really enjoyed. Got me to play 'Afro Waltz', which he said I did well then started looking at jazz comping, and jazz drumming in general. I felt freer (is that how you spell that? Is that a word??) than usual, more relaxed, and just went for it, didn't hold back. Makes a change for me. That's the way I'm feeling today though, like I'm not scared for once. Would love it to continue but it probs won't.
There's something else on my mind today. Not sure whether I'll do it but something's telling me to. I want someone to tell me definitively whether I should or not. My own head has a part that'll scream at me if I do and if I don't. I think I should probably just go for it really. My only concern is whether I might get the opportunity to do it in person instead, which I'd rather. I dunno. We'll see I guess. Or rather I'll see; you'll already know.
Anyways, better get moving, gonna head straight home today, wanna get lunch then need to take Chris to a job interview. Hope he gets on alright. Catch ye. (Y)
There's something else on my mind today. Not sure whether I'll do it but something's telling me to. I want someone to tell me definitively whether I should or not. My own head has a part that'll scream at me if I do and if I don't. I think I should probably just go for it really. My only concern is whether I might get the opportunity to do it in person instead, which I'd rather. I dunno. We'll see I guess. Or rather I'll see; you'll already know.
Anyways, better get moving, gonna head straight home today, wanna get lunch then need to take Chris to a job interview. Hope he gets on alright. Catch ye. (Y)
Sunday, 6 January 2013
6/1/2013 - about half 11
At night that is. Obviously. I don't do mornings unless I absolutely have to. Tomorrow unfortunately is one of those days... First day back at College. I think anyway. I'm assuming we have Instrumental Teaching first thing. If we don't and I go in for nothing I will RAGE. or RAJ. That seems to be more popular these days.
I've been trying to get on with Instrumental Teaching. Can't really be arsed but I had my first lessons with mum and Chris last week, done the write-ups for them and I've planned a second lesson. Then I've gotta start Jamie's, hopefully will this week... With the essays I'm doing alright, basically finished 20th Century History and Ethics, started Law but got a bit stuck. Think I know where I'm going next though. Will try and get on with it tomorrow. Yep, can't wait til this year's over.
Don't even know what I'll do when it is mind you. For a while I was sure I'd go back down to London, now I'm stuck in between. I've already got students here (those lessons start up again this week as well, but at least I get paid for those :)), and I could probably get more, and maybe if I really tried I could get out and perform round here, try and make a name for myself. Ultimately though if I really wanted that London's the place I'd have to go, at least eventually. So I'd be as well doing it now. Depends if I can find work down there though... Guess we'll just have to see. Who knows what'll happen between now and then. We'll get this College year out the way and see what's happening.
Don't really have much to say atm tbh. (Nice... 2 abbrevs at once ;)) Got something on my mind, don't know where I'm gonna go with it though. Went out last night for Leanne's 21st, it was an alright night. She had a good time which is what matters. But then someone wasn't there and that messed things up for me a bit. Still had a good night in the end though, although again I'm feeling like clubbing's not really my thing. I'll probably keep on doing it though.
But on the matter... I'm not sure what I'm gonna with that. Wait even longer til I get a chance to ask her? That might not be til she's been away and back again. Could be talking months. Or text her and try and get something happening before then. I didn't want to have to do things by text but if I want to act now I'd have to. Who knows. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
It's funny, I know you'll be reading this (actually will you? Will anyone?) and thinking I sound like an idiot. I probably do. But as quick as you are to put people down for sounding like this you gotta remember that's how they felt. That's how I feel. And no, actually I hope you've learned, as I'm learning, that there's nothing wrong with feeling how you feel. Had an interesting chat with the guys last night after we got back from Glasgow. Just Ske and Marc that is. Chatting at the bus stop Ryan was saying how Marc had said a couple of years back that the only person you really have to please in life is yourself. And they don't mean it in a selfish way, more like 'you don't have to justify your actions to anyone but yourself'. And that's an interesting point. Cos I know fine well I feel I have to justify my actions to anyone and everyone, even though no one actually cares. Maybe I should just start acting on how I feel more often. Maybe people will like me for it if I'm open and honest about who I am and what I want. It could probably benefit me in a lot of ways. Even though I felt like a fool at the start if I'd been open and honest with said girl at the start I'd probably have had a better chance than I do.
And actually that's the other thing I was gonna say - you'll be reading this knowing how things work out with the girl. Makes me feel stupid talking about her ha. But maybe you'll be wishing things had turned out better. I certainly have a feeling I'll be feeling like that at the end of it. Can't see it turning out how I'd like. But maybe it will. Even when I tell myself I've got no hope there's always a part of me that can't help but have hope. Maybe it's right to. I'll give a shot if I can anyway. You can decide if I was right to haha.
I've been trying to get on with Instrumental Teaching. Can't really be arsed but I had my first lessons with mum and Chris last week, done the write-ups for them and I've planned a second lesson. Then I've gotta start Jamie's, hopefully will this week... With the essays I'm doing alright, basically finished 20th Century History and Ethics, started Law but got a bit stuck. Think I know where I'm going next though. Will try and get on with it tomorrow. Yep, can't wait til this year's over.
Don't even know what I'll do when it is mind you. For a while I was sure I'd go back down to London, now I'm stuck in between. I've already got students here (those lessons start up again this week as well, but at least I get paid for those :)), and I could probably get more, and maybe if I really tried I could get out and perform round here, try and make a name for myself. Ultimately though if I really wanted that London's the place I'd have to go, at least eventually. So I'd be as well doing it now. Depends if I can find work down there though... Guess we'll just have to see. Who knows what'll happen between now and then. We'll get this College year out the way and see what's happening.
Don't really have much to say atm tbh. (Nice... 2 abbrevs at once ;)) Got something on my mind, don't know where I'm gonna go with it though. Went out last night for Leanne's 21st, it was an alright night. She had a good time which is what matters. But then someone wasn't there and that messed things up for me a bit. Still had a good night in the end though, although again I'm feeling like clubbing's not really my thing. I'll probably keep on doing it though.
But on the matter... I'm not sure what I'm gonna with that. Wait even longer til I get a chance to ask her? That might not be til she's been away and back again. Could be talking months. Or text her and try and get something happening before then. I didn't want to have to do things by text but if I want to act now I'd have to. Who knows. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
It's funny, I know you'll be reading this (actually will you? Will anyone?) and thinking I sound like an idiot. I probably do. But as quick as you are to put people down for sounding like this you gotta remember that's how they felt. That's how I feel. And no, actually I hope you've learned, as I'm learning, that there's nothing wrong with feeling how you feel. Had an interesting chat with the guys last night after we got back from Glasgow. Just Ske and Marc that is. Chatting at the bus stop Ryan was saying how Marc had said a couple of years back that the only person you really have to please in life is yourself. And they don't mean it in a selfish way, more like 'you don't have to justify your actions to anyone but yourself'. And that's an interesting point. Cos I know fine well I feel I have to justify my actions to anyone and everyone, even though no one actually cares. Maybe I should just start acting on how I feel more often. Maybe people will like me for it if I'm open and honest about who I am and what I want. It could probably benefit me in a lot of ways. Even though I felt like a fool at the start if I'd been open and honest with said girl at the start I'd probably have had a better chance than I do.
And actually that's the other thing I was gonna say - you'll be reading this knowing how things work out with the girl. Makes me feel stupid talking about her ha. But maybe you'll be wishing things had turned out better. I certainly have a feeling I'll be feeling like that at the end of it. Can't see it turning out how I'd like. But maybe it will. Even when I tell myself I've got no hope there's always a part of me that can't help but have hope. Maybe it's right to. I'll give a shot if I can anyway. You can decide if I was right to haha.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
2/1/13 - 2am
Hmmm, first post since Christmas day. I guess I can't expect to be posting all the time, I've got a lot on. As long as I keep doing it from time to time the blog will still fulfill it's purpose. I'm never gonna manage to chronicle EVERYTHING that's going on in my life, but time to time at least will be good.
So new years day has just ended. Hogmanay? It was alright. Was pretty good when I think about it. Went to Johnny Cabs with the guys for a bit (wouldn't be a popular destination right now with the whole John-Jane-Mooney scandal - I still haven't told Dan and Linzi ha), played COD for the first time ever ha, and some BOMBERMAN (yaaasss) then some Buzz. Was a good laugh. Then went to Maisies where we met Ally Bash and Alan and Vikki and Shirt Friend among others. Saw in the bells there, then eventually got round to going to the Woody. Woody was nowhere as busy as I'd thought it would be - actually thought it's be mental like Christmas eve but it was pretty dead by comparison. Still had a good laugh with who was there though, Chris and Boney, Craig and Kirsty, and Siobhan and Rachel and Kim and all that lot. Not many people were dancing but I was adamant I was gonna dance so I fucking did, mostly by myself, and sometimes with Jane and her sister (that's right, partied with Cab and Jane in one night... I really couldn't give a shit about choosing sides, I'm everyone's friend!). Was a good laugh.
Course the whole night was marred a little by one thing, which I touched on in my last post. It's been really bugging me since last night cos nothing happened there, and I don't even think she thinks I'd be interested, and now Ryan's expressed interest which I'm really not cool with. But I talked to mum about it tonight and it's made me feel better about it. We've got Leanne's night out on Saturday coming and I'm gonna ask her out. I have to really, to get some sort of closure at least. There's no two ways about it. It's a relief to have someone else say that to me though - it's not just me trying my luck now when I maybe shouldn't, I can honestly say it's for the best whatever the outcome cos at the very least I'll be able to move on.
We had Mum's steak pie for dinner tonight, with her lentil soup for started. Epic meal. And we had Papa round for it as well which was nice. Good to see him still active at his age.
Not really much else to say now which is good for a change. Chris goes to London tomorrow for a few days. I'm pleased he's getting away, although I'm gutted I can't go to. I'll miss him but it'll be good not to have too many distractions so I can get some work done (history and ethics just about out the way... Still got law to do though and have just started lessons... ugh), and hopefully get lessons started up again soon cos I'm skintooooooo.
Though of a new one today btw. REDDER. Like that one. Well played son.
That's us for now. Catch ye. (Y)
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